Updated: Nov 29, 2020
Forgiveness may not be second nature. It will come with practice and some cool tips. If you’re ready to let go and move on from blame to freedom, there are tips that will make the journey easier. Being able to share the impact that the situation has had on you and ask questions that bring closure and clarity is very healing. Finally, finding compassion for others – through realizing your own humanness – will humble you and make offering forgiveness easier than you may think.
Tip #1 Share the Impact
A key component for forgiveness is sharing the impact that the situation has had on you. Holding onto the pain you have inside, isn’t healing. Sharing the truth about how the situation impacts you is key to letting go and being able to move on. You have the right to share how you feel but do your best to use language that isn’t cruel or shaming. Being able to state your feelings in a way that can be heard will go miles towards restoration and offering grace in a difficult time. Sometimes hearing the impact that actions have had while withholding blame and judgement can allow for someone to truly change from the inside out.
Tip #2 Ask Questions
After you share your thoughts and forgiveness is on the table, ask any questions that come to mind. Sometimes being able to clarify can add to the healing. Many times, misunderstandings have been resolved when details are shared. Sometimes relationships grow deeper and more connected after conversations explore the nuances of what happened, and forgiveness comes.
Tip #3 Find compassion
Compassion is the common ground that allows forgiveness to grow in difficult soil. One of the easiest ways to find compassion is to think of a time when you needed forgiveness as well. Recalling times when we messed up or blundered can make offering forgiveness easier. Depending on how deep the cut, leaning on our own humanness can make offering forgiveness easier.
If forgiving and forgetting is an entirely new concept to you, then you will benefit from these practical tips to effectively offer forgiveness, but what happens when you can’t get the resolutions suggested in these tips? You can still go through the motions. Try meeting with a counselor or trusted friend to process through the hurts.
Offering forgiveness may not be easy, but it is possible – even in the worst of situations. These helpful tips will make it easier to start the process and get the closure you deserve.
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